Fondue

Recipes for Beef Pork Chicken Vegetables Fish

Fondue...

Everything I Need to Know In Life I Learned From My Dog
Mary Rosendale 
16cf

I was mooching around the Self-Help section in my local Barnes and Noble the other day when I got to thinking about the first Self Help book I ever read. Most of the early ones were actually based on psychology and written by psychologists. Remember “I'm OK. You're Ok.”? It actually had pie-charts and you needed some intelligence to get through it.

I remembered, too, that during the rise of the Feminist movement in the Seventies the greatest of all self-help books were feminist books. Heady political stuff. These books actually changed the course of lives. How well I recall my first Consciousness Raising group. It was full of scary looking women in black mao slippers carrying well-thumbed copies of Simone de Beauvoir's “Second Self”. I was introduced to many of these books in my Assertiveness Raising Groups. A phenomenon so familiar, back then, we would casually refer to it, over our Chablis and Fondue, as A.R. Groups. As in “Whose A.R. group are you in?” I don't think A. R. Groups even exist these days. Why would they? They've gone the way of Betty Crocker and hipsters. Anyway, those books were rare gold. Passed around, recommended, endlessly discussed and few and far between.

Now, Self-Help rivals only Computer Software as the largest department in any bookstore. Everybody, it seems, has something to say. Self-help books are opinion pieces. And some of them are opinion pieces in very slim volumes with very big writing. And just to make things really interesting we know nothing about the writers so as to evaluate whether their opinion is actually worth more than a bus ticket and a cup of coffee. Do this. Do that. They are written by the dying the sick, the addicted, the narcissistic. Especially the narcissistic. Everybody's got the secret of life. Or at least that magic bullet which will help you go one or two days more.

Because there's no FDA to regulate the claims of these books there's no redress. And, being human, we're all looking for short-cuts. As if there's a substitute for doing the work yourself. I personally believe that self-improvement is an inside job. It's not a “How do I” – more a “Why can't I”. Most people know what they have to do they just don't want to do it. (Stop bingeing, drinking, whining, blaming everybody else. Get your butt off the couch and welcome the day and take responsibility for your life).

Of course, the placebo value is great. You actually may be getting something really valuable. But you don't know how your life would've turned out if you hadn't read them. Although I will cheerfully borrow self-help books I don't buy them for the same reason that I don't take expensive supplements or vitamins. There's no quanitifiable measure of investment. The half-life of my vitamin intake is about two weeks or whenever I come to the end of the bottle, whichever comes sooner. Then – if I am not halfway through writing the Great American Novel or training for a triathlon I lose interest and assume they didn't do anything. I guess the books make you think a little more. Another advantage is that by giving you shrink-wrapped pre-packaged insights they save you the work of actually trying to figure out this stuff yourself. Kind of like some people figure they're off the hook for eating right if they supplement their diet with pre-fabbed nutrients.

And you can't argue with any of them. None of them suggest that you criticize your neighbor or cut people off on the freeway. It's all be nice to people. Cherish your family. Don't limit your potential. All based on good solid Judeo- Christian, Buddhist, Bill W. values. All whirled together in one big centrifuge

They work on fear. If you don't do what they exhort you to do you run the risk of not succeeding; not achieving or reaching your potential.. What if you end up eating cat food all alone and this was the one last thing you hadn't tried?

So, again, there I was mooching around the Self-Help section the other day half-expecting to come across “Everything I need to know about life I learned from my Manicurist” When I realized that, actually, everything I need to know in life I probably learned from my dog.

You don't know him but he's quite a distinctive individual. He's brave, relentlessly optimistic, completely present and entirely without artifice. What you see is definitely what you get. He's also a great listener. He's scared of a big monster dog which lives a few doors down and lunges at him each time he passes. So my boy steels himself and trots as quickly as he can past the terrifying fence to get to his favorite pee spot. No eye contact. He comes back the same way at a run. He gives me a hurried, frightened look as if to say “Waddya gonna do?” . If I leave him alone he sleeps. If I take him out he runs around happily and breathlessly until he can run no more. Either way works. He never holds a grudge and is always willing to kiss and make up if I hold a grudge. He is an opportunist and will take whatever he feels he needs i.e. any food that falls on the floor or looks like it might fall on the floor.

He trusts that the Universe, aka me, will provide for his needs. He'll walk over to his bowl and if there's food in it he'll eat - if it's empty he'll go back to sleep until food appears..Either way works. He doesn't pace the floor worrying about when the food will come and if it will be enough or if it will be his last meal or if it's meeting his nutritional needs.

I love my little guy with all my heart. After all - he's my guru. I'm just trying to figure out how to translate his teachings into my own life.